Comment Wall

Comment Wall for my Indian Epics Portfolio link below!

Link


Portolio: SkyWinds



Comments

  1. Hi Victoria!
    I enjoyed your writing of "The Jester and the Queen", because it kept the same moral of the original story, but had a fun new plot. It was interesting to read a story that didn't follow the exact guidelines of the original! You mentioned in your story that Jester was made fun of for being unlike everyone else. Is the reason he is unlike everyone else because he spends his time alone building things? Or is there more background to his story that is not mentioned? I think something that you could add to this story is more insight of the long friendship between the Queen and Jester. Like, How they became friends, and what there friendship was like throughout the years. This would add more depth to the message of "just because they say they are your friend, doesn't mean they are" that you are trying to display.

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  2. Hi Victoria,

    I really enjoyed reading your story "The Jester and the Queen." I thought you did an excellent job providing imagery, and details from their past to bring the whole story together. I was a little bit confused as to why Jester wasn't liked by majority of people. I know he wasn't very social with everyone, and spend a majority of his time working, and building things like the crown and the headband to get revenge on people. Maybe he was jealous? I also really liked the part where the Queen realizes that the crown is fake just by how to diamonds were arranged on the crown. I think you did a great job on this story, and am excited to see what other stories you do in the future.

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  3. Hello Victoria, first off I really enjoyed the theme of your home page. I read the Jester and the Queen and really enjoyed it. I thought it was such a unique twist on the Cunning Crane and the Crab. One question I have is how did the princess feel towards the jester after she realized what was going on? Was she surprised or angry? One suggestion I have is to maybe add in some more details of why the jester was so upset or what pushed him over the edge to try and control the princess since she was his only friend. I also really like how you added in the lesson or moral of the story towards the end and made it very clear. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story and look forward to reading the rest of your stories.

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  4. Hey Victoria!

    I enjoyed The Jester and the Queen story. The way you were able to completely change the setting and general plot while maintaining the moral of the original was fascinating. I like that you call the characters by their role instead of giving them a new name. That feels very in tune with the original story. I wonder if you couldn’t play off of that a bit more and change the ending to match it better. What if, instead of the Jester being locked away forever, the Queen catches up to the Jester and places the crown on him instead. The Jester would then obey the Queen’s every command and his punishment would instead be to make a fool of himself in front of everybody for the rest of his days. Since the Queen was one of the people who was ever kind to him, perhaps it is because she genuinely found him funny, and so she decides his punishment should be to entertain.

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  5. Hello Victoria! I just got done reading your story "Jester and the Queen". I also went back and refreshed myself by reading "The Cunning Crane and the Crab". I must say that I am impressed by what you have done. You kept many of the same underlying tones of the original but at the same exact time you have revamped essentially everything about the story. It was a very fun read and I enjoyed it. Great job! In terms of your website, I like that as well. As soon as I arrived at your site I was greeted by a soothing background of pastel colors as well as the link to this comment wall! The tabs up top make the site quite easy to navigate. The one thing I would consider is making the cover image on your "The Jester and the Queen" tab much bigger. That way you could fit the whole castle on the site. Either way, it is visually appealing!

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  6. Hi Victoria! I liked your picture in the introduction of your portfolio. Your story was very well written and I liked your rendition of the Cunning Crane and the Crab. I would also say to add a quick recap of what the Cunning Crane and the Crab are about, but otherwise, the author's note was very helpful. In the story, I like that the Jester and the Queen had a relationship with each other and she was able to draw from memories in order to save her daughter. I thought that was an interesting way to tell the story. I think one thing you could add to the story would be more dialogue from the princess. She seems more like a doll or a small child and less like someone who is about to be crowned Queen. Another thing I liked was how you tied in the crane's death in the original story. This was a sort of humane way and it still stayed consistent with the original plot.

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