An old man wandered down the sidewalk past the crowded New York street. Downtown Manhattan is always crazy this time of year, but he likes to get out of his apartment and people watch as much as he can. He's about three blocks away from the grocery store he's headed to when he sees her. It can't be her though, could it? You see, when he was younger in his mid-twenties, he met the one. Her name was Elizabeth and she had just moved to his hometown in Valdosta, Georgia. She was everything a guy could have hoped for and he instantly knew she was it. They met and fell in love but her dad was in the military and moved a lot. They got to spend one summer together and as quickly as it started, it was over.
He held out hope for all of these years that he would get to see her at least one last time. He always said that he used his entire youth thinking about her and never moved on. Right after Elizabeth moved he sought out a witch in his hometown for a love potion. This love potion wasn't like all of the others, though. It was a special one where the person who took it got to live as long as they could until they were reunited with the love of their life. It's a tricky potion because you only live 24 hours after you are reunited and you only have 24 hours to make up for a lifetime. The upside to this is you could live to be 300 years old until you finally see them again.
He catches up to the mystery woman and yells, "Elizabeth! Is that you?" The beautiful woman quickly spun around. She had aged but he could tell that was his Elizabeth. She smiles and runs to him without even thinking twice. They hug and embrace and the old man tells her how long he has waited to see her again. She agreed and said they she never stopped looking for him. He tells her of the love potion and how they have 24 hours to catch up and get to know each other all over again. She was sad at first but then realized that they have the opportunity to make it the best hours of their life. The time went by so quickly and the end was near. They looked at each other for the final time and the old man said, "Now that I've finally laid my eyes on you, I can die peacefully." He rose to heaven and Elizabeth joined him a few years later where they were reunited again, but for eternity.
Author's Note:
This story is based on the story Rama Visits Sharabhanga from Tiny Tales of the Ramayana Part B. In the story, Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana visit a rishi named Sharabhanga. The old man Sharabhanga spent his whole life waiting to see Rama with his own eyes. He looked at Rama and said now that he has seen him he can depart and stepped into the fire. From the flames a young Sharabhanga emerged and rose to heaven. I made it into a love story kind of and switched the character Rama's gender into Elizabeth. Once the old man laid eyes on Elizabeth and was content, he rose to heaven like Sharabhanga did after seeing Rama.
Bibliography: Laura Gibbs: Tiny Tales from the Ramayana Part B
Wow! First off this is a great way to interpret a story based on the Ramayana and make it relatable to people that are reading your story! I really enjoyed how you gave us a sort of back story and allowed for there to be an emotional bond to the characters. I love that you gave these characters a reason to live for at least 24 hours. I will say I found myself sad that after finding Elizabeth, the main character had to depart from earth. I found myself wondering, how long has he been alive then searching for her? Has it been longer than a lifetime of searching? So if he then found Elizabeth in her normal lifetime, could he have lived the rest of his life out with her in reality since, yes they were old, but he wasted a potion to live long until he found her. I found myself wondering then if he was not able to find her without the potion and what this did to help him reunite with Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI loved this story! It took me till the authors note to realise which story it was originally based off of but i was not disappointed! This was an absolutely lovely take on the original story and your creativity shone through! My favorite is that it put a loving and new spin on a story that at the time did not strike me as much and even seemed a bit weird. Overall I absolutely loved it and the only thing I found is that it needs another proofread.
ReplyDeleteWow, this story is amazing! I think you chose your words really well and I liked the storyline too! I felt myself really invested in the story the way Rama was looking for Elizabeth so I think you did a really good job at writing your story in a way where the audience would stay engaged. I actually like this story the way it is. Good job1
ReplyDeleteHi Victoria! I really enjoyed reading your story, and I love your writing style. I found it interesting that you turned that story in the Ramayana into a love story--I love writing those. The story gave me Steve and Peggy vibes from Captain America. I throughly enjoyed reading your love story, and I look forward to reading more. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi! This is an awesome story. I like how you put the story into a modern day setting. I really enjoyed your story. This is very creative. It is cool how you took a more modern approach on the Ramayana story.
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